Holy Third Trimester!

I turned 26 weeks last Thursday and I wondered back and forth if that meant I was still in my second trimester or going into my third. That very day I had volunteered at Cincinnati State as an OB ultrasound model and even asked the instructor what she thought. Her answer was not definitive--it depends on which doctor you talk to. Well, I am no doctor but let me I have made my own decision and I am telling you right now that I am in my third trimester! There are two very good general reasons why I have made this decision...

#1. It Makes Me Feel Better--If I say I'm in my second trimester, even if I'm 26 weeks, I still feel like I'm only in the middle of my pregnancy. If I say I'm in my third trimester, I feel like I'm approaching the finish line. That's all...it just makes me feel better and I'm allowed to do that if I want. Call the pregnancy police on me. I don't care.

#2. The Pregnancy Tide Has Shifted--I was 26 weeks on Thursday and by the end of that day, I felt markedly pregnant-er. My back hurts. I can't lean forward from the couch to get the remote off the coffee table without groaning and feeling like there is a basketball in my shirt. Getting up from the couch or bed requires serious thought, planning and counting to three. I can't sleep to save my life and the latest and greatest is the appearance of heartburn! I don't mean, "ooh, my tummy kind of hurts," heartburn. I mean all day, all night, popping Tums like candy, sleep sitting up and it still doesn't help kind of heartburn. Last night at 3 am I thought, "I bet they have good heartburn stuff at the ER...I should go there. Nah, they won't even give it to me, I bet." Yeah. That bad.

In short, I earned it and it makes me feel better. I'm going with the doctors that say it starts at 26 weeks because, well, I want to!

What Has Been and What is to Come

It has been a good two and a half months since I posted on here and looking back I realized that since my last post my baby girl has gotten so big! I have been lost in the second trimester bliss and forgot to share all the wonderful things that have happened. As a matter of fact, the last time I blogged, I hadn't even definitively felt her move. Well, she is moving now! She is actually quite the little acrobat and of course, not just a regular acrobat, but a very gifted one. She moves enough for mommy and daddy to both feel her AND see her wiggle around. We have seen her stretch her legs, roll around and even suckle during a regular ultrasound at 20 weeks. Just five weeks later I saw her perfectly beautiful face on a 4D ultrasound. It was then my husband realized she had my chin! We have (I have) hum-hawed around about the color of the nursery and finally settled on a lovely shade of green called "Potpourri Green" that goes well with pink, yellow, and purple accents. And if need be, later it will look good with blue accents as well.

It is also since my last post that we have decided on a name for our little girl. Her name will be Leah Faith. I suggested "Leah,"(pronounced LEE-uh) and when my husband, the Star Wars super fan, realized the resemblance to "Leia,"(pronounced LAY-uh), I tried to quickly back out but it was too late--we were both already in love with it and it was, "her name." Faith is a big part of our lives and it was a natural fit for her middle name.

We still have so much to do as I enter my third trimester, (didn't the test just come up positive yesterday?). We need to furnish our nursery, my family is planning my shower for October, we need to do some baby-proofing and house work, we need to finish registering, we have our childbirth class this Saturday and list goes on and on! But as the days to Leah's arrival close in on us we feel nothing but excitement! Sure, I'm getting more uncomfortable by the day but when I think about this little baby inside I can't help but remember that the discomfort is all worth it.

Where Are the Words?

I love turning to the bible and using it as one way to express what I'm feeling. There are times in my life when I need it to help me verbalize my fear or pain but sometimes I look to it to help me verbalize my joy. As a believer it is nice to turn to your book of faith and relate to the happenings of thousands of years ago. So this morning I read Mary's song of praise; the Magnificat. It is a stanza of poetry or song smack dab in the first chapter of Luke. She sings this after knowing she is carrying God's son, Jesus. It is beautiful:

⁴⁶ Mary responded,
   “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord.
    ⁴⁷ How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
 ⁴⁸ For he took notice of his lowly servant girl,
      and from now on all generations will call me blessed.
 ⁴⁹ For the Mighty One is holy,
      and he has done great things for me.
 ⁵⁰ He shows mercy from generation to generation
      to all who fear him.
 ⁵¹ His mighty arm has done tremendous things!
      He has scattered the proud and haughty ones.
 ⁵² He has brought down princes from their thrones
      and exalted the humble.
 ⁵³ He has filled the hungry with good things
      and sent the rich away with empty hands.
 ⁵⁴ He has helped his servant Israel
      and remembered to be merciful.
 ⁵⁵ For he made this promise to our ancestors,
      to Abraham and his children forever.”

...it is beautiful but I don't know if it captures what I'm feeling. I am not carrying the long awaited Messiah promised to an oppressed people. I am carrying a sweet little baby girl and I have no clue what her destiny is. But I know that I have prayed for her and imagined her since I was a little girl. So I realize in the moment I'm reading this that my God is the God of right now as much as he was the God of creation millions of years ago and the God of Mary 2000 or so years ago when she was expecting a child. And while God and I have come to the understanding that the bible is a done deal and my chance to get in it has long passed, this is what my song of praise would look like:

Mandy responded,

Oh how my soul praises the Lord,
     How my spirit rejoices in my Savior!
That you have looked on me, your lowly servant girl
     And thought I might be worthy to carry and raise this child within me.
You who created the world and everything in it from void and nothingness.
You who carved rivers out of rocks.
You who shaped the mountains with your fingertips.
You who healed the sick and saved me from my sins
Have created this child from the very same power,
     though we think it is our own.
And you give us the responsibility,
     privilege, 
     uncertainty,
     joy,
     and sometimes pain
    of being this baby girl's parents.
Give us also strength,
     wisdom,
     patience,
     laughter,
     commitment
     to be this baby girl's parents.
Help us to raise her in your perfect love all of our days.
Amen.

I'm no poet but that's what mine would look like.

We're Having a Baby Girl!

It's a girl! And for someone who didn't care one way or another about the gender, I sure am excited! I've got a basket full of pink outfits and picked out pink paint for her walls. We found out almost a week ago but I have been too distracted to blog about it! The first picture is her profile and the second picture is the "money shot," that she'll thank me later for posting on the interwebs.

Creation Up Close and Personal

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

I'm a believer in the bible and have been since I was very little. As a result I have been to many Sunday school classes and vacation bible schools. This means something other than the fact that I have eaten my share of Kool-Aid and stale cookies. It means I have heard certain bible stories over and over again. One of those stories is the creation story. It is the first story in the children's bible you receive for Christmas and it goes something like this: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, then the land and the sea, then the birds and the fish, then the mammals and then for his masterpiece he created a man from the dust and his wife from the man's rib. The older you get the more amazing you realize the story really is.

Then one day you conceive a child. Suddenly everyday is an encounter with the Lord as the Creator. I have come to know God as my friend, father, king and I have pondered him as the Creator but it's never been like this. The science of today allows us to know the developments of gestation on an almost daily basis and since we live in the information age we have access to it at our very own, thoughtfully created fingertips. I get email updates everyday telling me about another thrilling feature or ability being woven into the baby developing in my body. Or I flip through one of my pregnancy books to see what God is working on with my little one that week or day and it is as if I am standing right there with him at the creation of the heavens and the earth. It is equally monumental and mysterious to me.

The God who created the galaxies, oceans, plains, mountains and every grand creature that crawls, flies or swims the surface of the Earth also creates my child. The Almighty that makes all of nature's components work together in a complex but smooth process is finalizing an organization of bodily systems that will support my child's existance his or her whole life.

He looks at each of us as important enough to create as beautifully and wonderfully as he made the stars, the oceans and great heroes that came before us. This pregnancy and the parenthood that waits on the other side is a picture of the love God pours out on me...on all of us.

I love my pregnant body...today.

I have written before about how I was getting fatter and wasn't sure how I felt about it. I have decided once and for all (for today) that I'm very okay with it. Maybe it is the ease of being out of the first trimester that has me in such a good and accepting mood, but I'm enjoying my pregnant body for reasons other than my expanding "northern regions". Here are a few...

I'm Privileged to Do It Only about half of the population even has the theoretical chance to be pregnant and of the 50% of us that do, not everyone who wants to gets to. Not only am I pregnant which I have dreamed about since I was a little girl making everyone pretend I was the 'mom' and shoving throw pillows up my shirt, but it was easy for us to conceive. I'm not allowed to whine.

I Got This I'm no dummy. I can keep from gaining 100 pounds that won't ever come off. I know what to eat and what not to. And I exercise. If I keep the Pop Tarts out of the house and get out and move my body, I have nothing to worry about. Maybe I will tie a Pop Tart to a string just out of reach while I jog (eh, em...walk) on a treadmill. I've got this under control.

It Won't Last Forever When this nine months is up (less than 6 now!) I will have a beautiful baby and a little weight to lose. But to be honest, I am looking so forward to being unrestricted after the baby is born and working up a real sweat. I might horseback ride, jump on a trampoline and play tackle football all in one day for exercise! Not to mention that hungry little person that will help me burn a good 500-1000 calories a day. I'm pumped--pun totally intended.  I'm also going to eat as much sushi as I possibly can. That has nothing to do with losing baby weight but I really miss sushi in addition to tackle football.

I know full well that tomorrow I could wake up and burst into tears while I dress because, "I don't have anything to wear," but I will look back on this rational blog entry to remind myself of my excitement today over my changing body and know that my fears come from once being 305 pounds and then losing 130. I will make an intentional decision to relish in my expanding belly and the miraculous things going on inside it.

How about you? Did you enjoy your body during your pregnancy or did you waffle back and forth like I have? Mmmm....waffles.

Nothing but Fear Itself

I believe it was President Roosevelt who said, "...We have nothing to fear but fear itself." That is very wise but clearly, Mr. Roosevelt had never been pregnant.