Holy Third Trimester!

I turned 26 weeks last Thursday and I wondered back and forth if that meant I was still in my second trimester or going into my third. That very day I had volunteered at Cincinnati State as an OB ultrasound model and even asked the instructor what she thought. Her answer was not definitive--it depends on which doctor you talk to. Well, I am no doctor but let me I have made my own decision and I am telling you right now that I am in my third trimester! There are two very good general reasons why I have made this decision...

#1. It Makes Me Feel Better--If I say I'm in my second trimester, even if I'm 26 weeks, I still feel like I'm only in the middle of my pregnancy. If I say I'm in my third trimester, I feel like I'm approaching the finish line. That's all...it just makes me feel better and I'm allowed to do that if I want. Call the pregnancy police on me. I don't care.

#2. The Pregnancy Tide Has Shifted--I was 26 weeks on Thursday and by the end of that day, I felt markedly pregnant-er. My back hurts. I can't lean forward from the couch to get the remote off the coffee table without groaning and feeling like there is a basketball in my shirt. Getting up from the couch or bed requires serious thought, planning and counting to three. I can't sleep to save my life and the latest and greatest is the appearance of heartburn! I don't mean, "ooh, my tummy kind of hurts," heartburn. I mean all day, all night, popping Tums like candy, sleep sitting up and it still doesn't help kind of heartburn. Last night at 3 am I thought, "I bet they have good heartburn stuff at the ER...I should go there. Nah, they won't even give it to me, I bet." Yeah. That bad.

In short, I earned it and it makes me feel better. I'm going with the doctors that say it starts at 26 weeks because, well, I want to!

What Has Been and What is to Come

It has been a good two and a half months since I posted on here and looking back I realized that since my last post my baby girl has gotten so big! I have been lost in the second trimester bliss and forgot to share all the wonderful things that have happened. As a matter of fact, the last time I blogged, I hadn't even definitively felt her move. Well, she is moving now! She is actually quite the little acrobat and of course, not just a regular acrobat, but a very gifted one. She moves enough for mommy and daddy to both feel her AND see her wiggle around. We have seen her stretch her legs, roll around and even suckle during a regular ultrasound at 20 weeks. Just five weeks later I saw her perfectly beautiful face on a 4D ultrasound. It was then my husband realized she had my chin! We have (I have) hum-hawed around about the color of the nursery and finally settled on a lovely shade of green called "Potpourri Green" that goes well with pink, yellow, and purple accents. And if need be, later it will look good with blue accents as well.

It is also since my last post that we have decided on a name for our little girl. Her name will be Leah Faith. I suggested "Leah,"(pronounced LEE-uh) and when my husband, the Star Wars super fan, realized the resemblance to "Leia,"(pronounced LAY-uh), I tried to quickly back out but it was too late--we were both already in love with it and it was, "her name." Faith is a big part of our lives and it was a natural fit for her middle name.

We still have so much to do as I enter my third trimester, (didn't the test just come up positive yesterday?). We need to furnish our nursery, my family is planning my shower for October, we need to do some baby-proofing and house work, we need to finish registering, we have our childbirth class this Saturday and list goes on and on! But as the days to Leah's arrival close in on us we feel nothing but excitement! Sure, I'm getting more uncomfortable by the day but when I think about this little baby inside I can't help but remember that the discomfort is all worth it.

Where Are the Words?

I love turning to the bible and using it as one way to express what I'm feeling. There are times in my life when I need it to help me verbalize my fear or pain but sometimes I look to it to help me verbalize my joy. As a believer it is nice to turn to your book of faith and relate to the happenings of thousands of years ago. So this morning I read Mary's song of praise; the Magnificat. It is a stanza of poetry or song smack dab in the first chapter of Luke. She sings this after knowing she is carrying God's son, Jesus. It is beautiful:

⁴⁶ Mary responded,
   “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord.
    ⁴⁷ How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
 ⁴⁸ For he took notice of his lowly servant girl,
      and from now on all generations will call me blessed.
 ⁴⁹ For the Mighty One is holy,
      and he has done great things for me.
 ⁵⁰ He shows mercy from generation to generation
      to all who fear him.
 ⁵¹ His mighty arm has done tremendous things!
      He has scattered the proud and haughty ones.
 ⁵² He has brought down princes from their thrones
      and exalted the humble.
 ⁵³ He has filled the hungry with good things
      and sent the rich away with empty hands.
 ⁵⁴ He has helped his servant Israel
      and remembered to be merciful.
 ⁵⁵ For he made this promise to our ancestors,
      to Abraham and his children forever.”

...it is beautiful but I don't know if it captures what I'm feeling. I am not carrying the long awaited Messiah promised to an oppressed people. I am carrying a sweet little baby girl and I have no clue what her destiny is. But I know that I have prayed for her and imagined her since I was a little girl. So I realize in the moment I'm reading this that my God is the God of right now as much as he was the God of creation millions of years ago and the God of Mary 2000 or so years ago when she was expecting a child. And while God and I have come to the understanding that the bible is a done deal and my chance to get in it has long passed, this is what my song of praise would look like:

Mandy responded,

Oh how my soul praises the Lord,
     How my spirit rejoices in my Savior!
That you have looked on me, your lowly servant girl
     And thought I might be worthy to carry and raise this child within me.
You who created the world and everything in it from void and nothingness.
You who carved rivers out of rocks.
You who shaped the mountains with your fingertips.
You who healed the sick and saved me from my sins
Have created this child from the very same power,
     though we think it is our own.
And you give us the responsibility,
     privilege, 
     uncertainty,
     joy,
     and sometimes pain
    of being this baby girl's parents.
Give us also strength,
     wisdom,
     patience,
     laughter,
     commitment
     to be this baby girl's parents.
Help us to raise her in your perfect love all of our days.
Amen.

I'm no poet but that's what mine would look like.

We're Having a Baby Girl!

It's a girl! And for someone who didn't care one way or another about the gender, I sure am excited! I've got a basket full of pink outfits and picked out pink paint for her walls. We found out almost a week ago but I have been too distracted to blog about it! The first picture is her profile and the second picture is the "money shot," that she'll thank me later for posting on the interwebs.

Creation Up Close and Personal

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

I'm a believer in the bible and have been since I was very little. As a result I have been to many Sunday school classes and vacation bible schools. This means something other than the fact that I have eaten my share of Kool-Aid and stale cookies. It means I have heard certain bible stories over and over again. One of those stories is the creation story. It is the first story in the children's bible you receive for Christmas and it goes something like this: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, then the land and the sea, then the birds and the fish, then the mammals and then for his masterpiece he created a man from the dust and his wife from the man's rib. The older you get the more amazing you realize the story really is.

Then one day you conceive a child. Suddenly everyday is an encounter with the Lord as the Creator. I have come to know God as my friend, father, king and I have pondered him as the Creator but it's never been like this. The science of today allows us to know the developments of gestation on an almost daily basis and since we live in the information age we have access to it at our very own, thoughtfully created fingertips. I get email updates everyday telling me about another thrilling feature or ability being woven into the baby developing in my body. Or I flip through one of my pregnancy books to see what God is working on with my little one that week or day and it is as if I am standing right there with him at the creation of the heavens and the earth. It is equally monumental and mysterious to me.

The God who created the galaxies, oceans, plains, mountains and every grand creature that crawls, flies or swims the surface of the Earth also creates my child. The Almighty that makes all of nature's components work together in a complex but smooth process is finalizing an organization of bodily systems that will support my child's existance his or her whole life.

He looks at each of us as important enough to create as beautifully and wonderfully as he made the stars, the oceans and great heroes that came before us. This pregnancy and the parenthood that waits on the other side is a picture of the love God pours out on me...on all of us.

I love my pregnant body...today.

I have written before about how I was getting fatter and wasn't sure how I felt about it. I have decided once and for all (for today) that I'm very okay with it. Maybe it is the ease of being out of the first trimester that has me in such a good and accepting mood, but I'm enjoying my pregnant body for reasons other than my expanding "northern regions". Here are a few...

I'm Privileged to Do It Only about half of the population even has the theoretical chance to be pregnant and of the 50% of us that do, not everyone who wants to gets to. Not only am I pregnant which I have dreamed about since I was a little girl making everyone pretend I was the 'mom' and shoving throw pillows up my shirt, but it was easy for us to conceive. I'm not allowed to whine.

I Got This I'm no dummy. I can keep from gaining 100 pounds that won't ever come off. I know what to eat and what not to. And I exercise. If I keep the Pop Tarts out of the house and get out and move my body, I have nothing to worry about. Maybe I will tie a Pop Tart to a string just out of reach while I jog (eh, em...walk) on a treadmill. I've got this under control.

It Won't Last Forever When this nine months is up (less than 6 now!) I will have a beautiful baby and a little weight to lose. But to be honest, I am looking so forward to being unrestricted after the baby is born and working up a real sweat. I might horseback ride, jump on a trampoline and play tackle football all in one day for exercise! Not to mention that hungry little person that will help me burn a good 500-1000 calories a day. I'm pumped--pun totally intended.  I'm also going to eat as much sushi as I possibly can. That has nothing to do with losing baby weight but I really miss sushi in addition to tackle football.

I know full well that tomorrow I could wake up and burst into tears while I dress because, "I don't have anything to wear," but I will look back on this rational blog entry to remind myself of my excitement today over my changing body and know that my fears come from once being 305 pounds and then losing 130. I will make an intentional decision to relish in my expanding belly and the miraculous things going on inside it.

How about you? Did you enjoy your body during your pregnancy or did you waffle back and forth like I have? Mmmm....waffles.

Nothing but Fear Itself

I believe it was President Roosevelt who said, "...We have nothing to fear but fear itself." That is very wise but clearly, Mr. Roosevelt had never been pregnant.

Blog Name Change

I realized there was already a Mama Mandy online, so I changed the name of my blog from "Mama Mandy" to "Mrs. G Plus One."  Hopefully this isn't too upsetting for my nearly one quarter of a dozen followers!

Sincerely,
Mrs. G

Growing Belly, Liquid Garbage and Feeling Good!

I am now 13 weeks along and now in my second trimester. Other than reaching the milestone itself, there isn't anything all that interesting going on, (to outsiders anyway). Like I mentioned in my last post, we heard the heartbeat for the first time and we are still listening to the recording all the time. I can't wait to go to the doctor, (who is actually a midwife, but who says 'go to the midwife'?) in 3 weeks and hear it again. But I think as far as really exciting things go, it will be a few weeks before anything happens.

In the meantime I am getting my kicks from the little things about pregnancy in the second trimester. For instance I feel pretty good. In the past week or so I have not been queasy at all. I might be feeling better due to the iron supplements I have been taking. Believe me, they are no picnic to take but let me tell you; I take them like a freaking champ! I have to take liquid supplements because my body doesn't process tablets normally because of my gastric bypass surgery from five years ago. There are no words to describe the disgusting factor of these vitamins...literally. There is no smell or taste I have ever experienced before to compare them to. It is the color and consistency of mud, has floating chunks in it and if I had to try to describe the taste I would imagine it is like boiling dumpter garbage and then drinking the left over water. But every morning I get up, pour my medicine cup with a dash of OJ, hold my nose, lean over the sink (in case I throw up, of course), and toss it down the hatch. I give a big shiver and gulp my glass of orange juice down.

Secondly, my belly is getting a little bigger. Some days this is a bummer but most days it is a happy reminder that my baby is getting bigger. Most people looking at me might just think I have a spare tire around my mid-section but I know it's my little bambino growing, growing, growing! I am so looking forward to being obviously pregnant. Today the non-maternity jeans I bought a few weeks ago to "grow into" have been grown into. I also took all my "skinny" underwear and bras and put them in a box in my closet to be temporarily replaced with some large and in charge undergarments!

I feel like just a week ago I took my pregnancy test. The time is flying by and before I know it I will be holding my baby in my arms! So these little the things are keeping me amazed on a day by day basis.

A Sound So Sweet

I went for my 12 week appointment and got what I've been waiting for since the moment I knew I was pregnant...to hear the sound of my baby's beating heart! Nothing ever sounded so wonderful. It was beating a strong 154 beats per minute.

I took my mom with me to this appointment since Ricky had to begin his new job today so I recorded it for him to listen to when he gets home but it is me who is getting the most listens out of the recording. I can't stop listening to the most precious 13 second sound byte ever recorded! That little heart beat belongs to my child. The one my husband and I created together with God's help. The one who we will grow to know and love more every day. The one who will make us laugh and make us cry. The one who will love us and "hate" us one day. The one who will open presents on our living room floor at Christmas and build castles in our backyard out of dirt. This heart beat belongs to someone I have dreamed of since I was a little girl but could have never imagined how much I will love. I don't know if this child is a boy or a girl; a red-head or a blonde; a high maintenance or easy going baby; healty or has special needs--but I know that this little child is mine and all I want is this child of mine!

Boy or Girl?

Some of you know I took this test a couple of weeks ago. It cost me a whopping $30 at Walgreens, (should have bought it at Becoming Mom where you get it free if you schedule your sonogram there), and I took it the morning I was 10 weeks--the earliest you can take it. It tells you right on the instructions that this is for entertainment purposes only and not to paint your nursery based on the results or make any "emotional or financial investments in the result." So with a light heart and a full bladder, I took the test and within the few minutes the instructions say to wait, I had my not-so-scientific result: it's a (might be a) boy!

No need to congratulate me on expecting a son or tell me how much easier boys are to raise than girls just yet. What you can congratulate me on is now being open to the idea of having a boy. From the moment we found out we were having a baby we thought it was a girl and it still might be. I blame my husband for my early, uninformed certainty. As I was on the phone in the early morning hours on the Sunday we found out I was pregnant, he peeked his head through the doorway of the kitchen and said, "by the way, it's a girl." Call me gullible, but as soon as he said that I automatically thought, "okay, sure...a girl it is!" We talked about girl names, I looked at girl clothes at the store and I developed an overall mental picture of "our daughter." It wasn't that I preferred a girl over a boy but I just had it in my head that I was carrying a girl. But when this fun little test told me we were having a boy, my mind completely opened up to the idea that this baby could be a little boy.

Now I am less certain of my gut feeling toward either gender. One day I imagine I'm having a boy and the next day I imagine I'm having a girl. We think about both types of names now and I look at both boy and girl clothes in the stores I visit. If you are thinking of taking this test to get some sort of conclusive proof of the gender of your baby, you are wasting your money, time and urine. I feel no certainty about my baby's gender. In less than five weeks we'll have our gender sneak peek ultrasound and know for sure whether to go pink or blue but until then I'll enjoy the teeter-totter ride that is not knowing!

What about you? So many parents find out the gender now, did any of you wait to find out? Or did you have a surprise--as in, the ultrasound said one thing but the baby was the opposite gender?

My Imaginary Baby

I will be 10 weeks tomorrow and I read that means my baby is the size of a prune. I read about all the developments he or she is making. That her heart is beating and legs are moving about. But that is all I can do...read about it. I'm always aware that I am in this condition called "pregnant," so I do all the things I should and don't do anything I shouldn't but for the most part I just don't "feel" like I'm growing a life. I don't look pregnant, just chubbier; I can't feel a baby move; I don't have a lot of pregnantish symptoms and at my first doctor appointment she didn't listen for a heartbeat or do an ultrasound. I asked her how I would know everything was okay (or real) if we were not going to do either of those things. She just kind of laughed and said, "because your pregnancy test is still positive and you're not bleeding." What! That's all I get?

What is so weird for me is that before I was pregnant I really thought I would feel "connected" to my baby immediately. Like there would be some instant emotional bond when the blue line showed up. But for me there isn't yet. I know--I sound like a terrible mother, (the guilt begins!). Don't get me wrong, I am excited. I think about the baby all the time. I can't wait to put the nursery together, see ultrasounds and of course, bring him or her home from the hospital. But the excitement is more like the thrill of imagining what you would do if you won the lottery; it is not real. When I think about the baby I still feel like I did when I imagined it before I was pregnant. It is as if the baby is still a hypothetical idea. A hypothetical idea that keeps me from eating sushi and drinking coffee, but hypothetical nonetheless. Sometimes when I dream, I dream about the baby. It is always a girl in my dreams and she seems so real then. And in my dreams I love her so much--I wish I felt that all day now. That will come, I guess.

I read in the books that this feeling is pretty normal so I'm not overly worried. I'm sure one day soon I will feel like my child is real. My second appointment is less than two weeks away. I am hoping we'll hear the heartbeat on this visit and that will help. Anyone else feel or ever felt this way?

I'm Getting Fatter and I Don't Know How to Feel About It

You can't look at me and tell that I'm pregnant yet but I am undoubtedly fatter. I won't tell you that at my first OB appointment 2 weeks ago I had put on 10 pounds since my last doctor visit in December but if you want to make that assumption, that is your prerogative. At this point, they I should have only gained between 0 and 4 pounds. I was a little disappointed...just a little. "They" (whoever "they" are) also say that I don't need to eat anymore than I did before since I'm only in my first trimester. Well, "they" aren't around to hear my stomach growl every hour and a half! They also aren't here when I regularly wake up at 4 in the morning so hungry that one night I actually considered eating my husband (I wish I was kidding). I'm hungry all the time. As a matter of fact, I'm hungry right now.

Another problem is what I can eat. I used to eat veggies three or four times a day. Do I want them now? Nope. The thought of eating chicken or beef kind of grosses me out. I force myself to eat vegetables at least once a day and somedays are easier than others but if I can't stand meat and veggies anymore, what's left? That's right, carbs and dairy. But if I overload on dairy (oh how I love cheese), I get long visits from every pregnant lady's best friend, constipation. So carbs, the very crap I have limited and avoided for the most part over the past 5 years since losing a lot of weight, is the only thing I can reliably eat. Not only that but I crave it because its a DRUG! I will run someone over in the Olive Garden parking lot for some breadsticks and ravioli!

Some days the thought of putting on 20 or 30 pounds doesn't bother me and I say, "Oh well, its good for the baby as long as I eat as healthy as I possible and exercise. It will come off when I give birth and nurse!" Other days I am panic stricken with fear that I will spiral out of control and be 305 pounds again and cry to my poor husband because everything I own is tight and all I wear are yoga pants. Today is really an in-between day--half way sane.

What do you think? Does the baby weight really come off when you nurse, (given you eat right and exercise?)

How are you feeling: What to Share When You're Expecting

As soon as you become pregnant, everyone who knows always asks the same question upon seeing you or talking to you on the phone: "how are you feeling?" It is sweet of them to ask. It is hard to tell them the truth sometimes. People expect you to say you are sick to your stomach and a little more tired than usual. But when a sweet lady at church or your father-in-law asks you how you're feeling, they may not be ready to hear how you really feel. For instance, for me, at any given moment when a kind person asks me this question it is quite possible that I'm holding in a fart because of the horrendous gas that is caused by pregnancy. Then there is the constipation, swollen tender breasts, acne, frequent urination, congestion and runny nose (yes, those are really caused by pregnancy), and a whole other barrage of weird and uncomfortable symptoms. So, because I always think it prudent to be prepared for every situation here is a list of pregnancy symptoms people are comfortable hearing about, (your mom, sister and girlfriends are not "people," so they get the gory details):

1. Nausea- no one wants to see you do it, but everyone is pretty aware that it happens with pregnancy. And strangely enough, when you tell people about this you might even get an, "awww," like it's cute.
2. Fatigue- we're making people in our own body! If that doesn't wear you out nothing will. Tell people about this one just because it is like bragging.
3. Irritability/emotional- who doesn't like a good story about someone whizzing a Diet Coke can (caffeine free, of course) at their husband because he breathes too loud or crying because the vacuum cleaner broke?
4. Appetite/cravings- so you ate vegetable soup and dunked s'more pop tarts in it? That's your business but if someone asks how you're feeling and you want to fess up to this go for it. Currently, I spend about 56% of my day standing in front of the fridge or pantry looking for something to eat and "mixing cusines." Last night I had a handful of dry Froot Loops while waiting for my vegetable soup to heat up. That's normal, right?
5. "I feel pretty good"-if you don't have any of the above, just say that. Even if you have other symptoms not listed, just say, "I feel pretty good."

That's about it for things people want to know about and things you have time to explain. I have gained a lot of knowledge from What to Expect, but I don't think the average passerby wants to know why my runny nose and constipation is pregnancy related. I guess the rule of thumb when it comes to what to share with others when they ask how you're feeling is this: If it happens on a sitcom, you can share it; if the sitcoms avoid it, so should you. However; I think if someone catches me on a bad day my rule of thumb will be: If you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have asked!

I'm out of the pregnancy closet!

9 weeks pregnant

We did it! Not that...well, yes I guess that...but what I meant was we made a baby! There's really a life inside me. It might be somewhere between the size of a raspberry and a medium olive but it is in there and it is real. It has arms and legs; lips and a nose; a spine and now eyes, (that is the latest development or so I read). It is so hard to believe that something as complicated as creating a human life was so easy to do for us. As a matter of fact it is so hard to believe that I kept taking pregnancy tests every day for an entire week until I really, really believed it. I guess I kept expecting to wake up one morning and it would have all been a mistake or that it was going to be taken away from me, but so far this is really happening...we're really going to be a mom and dad!